Our past adventures and challenges don’t define us. Still, they shape who we are today, allowing us to be better or bitter, generous or greedy, kind or cruel, compassionate or confronting, open-hearted or walled-off. We get to choose the definition by which we will be known and how we relate to one another.

I remember like it was last week when I rang the doorbell. My Mom came to the door. She greeted me pleasantly, and I knew she had no idea who I was. I was in my 40s; she was in her 70s. When my dad could no longer care for her, she ultimately spent years in a nursing home and passed away when she was 85. I value that those who cared for her there respected her and seemed to know who she was and who she had been...kind, compassionate, generous, gracious, non-judgmental, understanding, and accepting of everyone.

I grew up in a family that valued a religious affiliation. I spent most of my life in church-related activities as a young person and for much of my adult life. Many of those experiences were positive; some were hurtful.

Typically, I like new beginnings. A new beginning can provide an opportunity to do it better next time, to start over, or maybe experience a new adventure.

There is always a choice, and sometimes the options are clear. But many times, the best way forward is unclear. Making any decision, for some, feels too difficult and results in procrastinating or not making a decision. A well-known American theologian, Harvey Cox, said, “Not to decide is to decide.” So, indecision is the decision.

I am fascinated by how one’s age impacts so many things: how you view yourself, how you think others see you, and how both affect one’s mental outlook. My husband has a saying, “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?”

How many times have you talked with someone and realized they completely missed the point of what you shared? Few things feel better than someone hearing you, not just hearing the words, but hearing your struggle, frustration, or fear.

Do you know how many books are written about and even titled “The Art of Conversation?” There are so many. I have read about the two rules of having a conversation, four stages, five principles, five elements, five rules, nine tips, and of course, the golden rule of conversation (not interrupting while someone else is talking). I didn’t think conversations were that complicated or needed to be.

The Holidays in November and December provide a myriad of opportunities for both joy and sadness. I used to believe The Holidays were a time of joy for everyone, filled with happy family gatherings, with bounties of food and gifts for all. And sometimes that is reality, but frequently it isn’t.

I didn’t know there was a difference between being thankful and being grateful, but evidently there is. Being thankful is contingent upon something that occurred – a situation or another’s action, a gift, or kindness. Being grateful is an attitude or way of life, focusing on what is good instead of what is missing. In other words, being thankful is a response while being grateful is a choice.