The Way Forward
“Rather than focus on the obstacle in the path, focus on the bridge over the obstacle.”
Image Credit @magict1911
There is always a choice, and sometimes the options are clear. But many times, the best way forward is unclear. Making any decision, for some, feels too difficult and results in procrastinating or not making a decision. A well-known American theologian, Harvey Cox, said, “Not to decide is to decide.” So, indecision is the decision.
There will always be tough choices: “Should I start treatment now or be on a “watch and wait” protocol?” “Should I take the job or not?” “Should I go back to school?” “Should I get on a clinical trial?” “Should I move now or not at all?” “Should I stay in this relationship?” “Should I take time for myself when there’s so much going on?” “How will I know which is the right decision?” Some decisions have minor consequences, but others can be life-altering and overwhelming.
In considering the way forward, it’s not unusual to focus on the obstacles in the path: the unknown, the risks, the expense, and the fear: “I’ve never done this before.” “I’m scared.” “It costs too much.” “It feels selfish.” “What if I’m not smart enough, talented enough, good enough?” “What if I fail?” “What if it doesn’t work out like I hope it will?” “What if I make the wrong decision and screw up?” The key to finding the way forward is to focus on the bridge over the obstacle. By changing the statement, “I don’t know how I’m going to…,” to the question, “How can I…?” one can develop a plan for moving forward. When facing tough choices, here are some things to think about:
Gather adequate information: talk to others in similar circumstances; utilize several credible websites.
Identify the risks, rewards, and short-term and long-term consequences of any decision by listing each on paper or the computer.
Acknowledge that tough decisions can feel overwhelming.
Partialize by taking small steps along the way, if possible.
Take a break from intensely focusing on the situation; use distraction to provide mental rest.
Visualize the end goal: “What do I want to accomplish?”
Finding the way forward is made by choice, not chance, as expressed in this quote by an unknown author:
❝ I choose to live by choice, not by chance,
To be motivated, not manipulated,
To be useful, not used,
To make changes, not excuses,
To excel, not compete.
I choose self-esteem, not self-pity.
I choose to listen to my inner voice,
Not listen to the random opinion of others. ❞