Against All Odds
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
Image Credit @sharonmccutcheon
Some people need to know the odds, but knowing “the spread” of a football game doesn’t ensure a win or a loss. My favorite team learned that lesson recently. Some people want survival rate statistics following a cancer diagnosis, but those numbers don’t guarantee survival or death.
Many years ago, I read the book, Fighting Cancer, by Annette and Richard Bloch of H&R Bloch fame. He was diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer and given three months to live. His survivorship was seemingly against all odds. After seeking a second opinion and undergoing two years of treatment, he was completely cured. I remember reading that he was told his odds were a 95% chance he wouldn’t survive. But his response to that was, “I want to be in that 5% and if I survive, I will have survived 100%.”
How is it some survive against the odds? I believe resilience plays a role. Psychologists say resilience is adapting well in the face of adversity or significant sources of stress such as serious health problems. In Psychology Today, Katherine King, PsyD, describes the Seven Skills of Resilience and practical ways to enhance well-being. While all seven resiliency skills are effective coping strategies, these three strategies are especially relevant to navigating life during and after a cancer diagnosis or any significant life stressor, for that matter:
Cultivating a belief in your ability to cope. It’s easy to think, “I can’t do this,” or “I’m so scared.” Those thoughts can be replaced with, “I’m going to figure out a way to get through this,” or “I’ve had scary situations before and I’ve gotten through them,” or “I’ve got this!”
Talking about what you’re going through. While friends and family can be invaluable support systems, sometimes it’s easier to talk to someone you don’t know. There can be a fear of burdening loved ones with diagnosis and treatment details or the fact that you’re struggling emotionally. It can be helpful to talk to someone who has “been there, done that,” which is why our Woman to Woman peer support program is so helpful.
Cultivating an attitude of survivorship. Back in the 1990s, one of our patients was diagnosed with multiple myeloma, a relatively uncommon blood cancer. He was told his odds were poor, was given a few months to live, and told to get his affairs in order. He did just that and then waited, letting other things he deemed inconsequential slip. For instance, he had a hole in the bottom of his favorite pair of shoes, but reasoned there was no need to replace it. Months went by, and he continued to wait. Finally, after a year, he was tired of waiting to die and decided to live, feeling regretful that he wasted that year. He bought two new pairs of shoes – black and brown, and decided to live life fully every day. He actually wore one black and one brown shoe to our support group one time, which made us all laugh. He developed a survivorship mentality choosing to live life to the utmost, which he did for many more years. He survived against all odds.
Can knowing the statistical odds of surviving a cancer diagnosis guarantee survivorship? No, but there are things we can do to strengthen our immune system and improve the odds and our quality of life…things like good medical care, healthy nutrition and reasonable exercise, adequate sleep, and a wide range of stress reduction techniques including mindfulness meditation, expressive writing, yoga, support groups, and finding meaning. We don’t have control over a diagnosis or a tragic event, but we do have control over how we respond and live each day. Every day we can choose to live 100% no matter the odds.
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