Accepting the Invitation
“Every day I have many choices to make about who I want to be.”
Image Credit @kellysikkema
I was in the 20-items-or-less fast checkout lane with 12 items in my basket. The woman in front of me had 29 things – I know because I counted them. Really? I found myself getting very annoyed. Why can’t people just follow the guidelines? The more I thought about it, the more frustrated, angry even, I became. When I finally left the store, I was in a cranky and critical mood.
I later remembered a seminar I attended a lifetime ago where the presenter talked about “accepting the invitation.” He said that every day we are presented with invitations to get angry, become critical, or spout off. He went on to say we have a choice whether to accept the invitation or not. Wow, what a concept! The next time I was in the “fast lane” at the store, of course, there was someone in front of me with an abundance of items, way over his limit. But this time I thought, “I’m not going to accept that invitation to get irritated.” I spent the time watching other customers, checking the weather app on my phone, planning what to do the remainder of the afternoon, and left the store in a positive mood. It felt pretty good to have control over my emotions. I could have reacted but instead I chose to be intentional.
After years of working with people coping with grief and loss whether from a death, cancer diagnosis, broken relationship, or just life in general, I sense that many times we accept the invitation to hold onto things that don’t serve us well. It’s easy to confuse what to let go of and what to hold onto. I can choose to:
Let go of grudges or hold onto gratitude.
Let go of despair or hold onto hope.
Let go of depression or hold onto determination.
Let go of judgment or hold onto joyfulness.
Let go of cynicism or hold onto sincerity.
Let go of feeling overwhelmed or hold onto finding control.
Let go of old wounds or hold onto new possibilities.
And finally, I can choose to let go of fear or hold onto the future.
It’s comforting to know I have a choice. Sometimes I accept the invitation without thinking, but I also know I can return the invitation. I don’t have to go there. I can make a choice about how I react and who I want to be.