White Bears & Blue Dolphins
“Try to pose for yourself this task: not to think of a polar bear, and you will see that the cursed thing will come to mind every minute.”
Image Credit @evablue
Do you ever have trouble managing distressing thoughts? While you don’t have control over the thoughts that enter your mind, you do have control over how much time they spend there.
David Wegner, a psychology professor at Harvard University, has done extensive research on ironic process theory, which refers to the fact that one’s attempts to suppress specific thoughts only make it more likely the thoughts will surface.
Among other things, Dr. Wegner is known for researching the “white bear phenomenon,” in which participants were asked not to think of a white bear. He found that when we try not to think of something, one part of our mind avoids the distressing thought, but another part frequently checks in to ensure the thought is not coming up – ironically, bringing it to mind. So, the attempt not to think of a topic essentially backfires. By trying not to think of something, we continually think about it, resulting in a rebound effect.
Thought stopping is a cognitive behavioral technique that’s been around for 50-plus years and is used to disrupt negative thinking and distressing thoughts. It’s a stress management technique that I’ve found personally beneficial; however, there is disagreement within the mental health community about the efficacy of thought stopping, particularly if it is used only to suppress an anxiety-provoking thought and not in conjunction with other strategies. Using thought stopping alone would validate the white bear phenomenon and ironic process theory. So, combination strategies work best, and these are a few of them:
The Blue Dolphin: This (blue dolphin), not that (white bear), is a “go-to” strategy when the “white bear” comes to mind. It’s a replacement thought – something you can immediately switch your focus to if your white bear shows up. The blue dolphin might be a distraction: “I’m going to plan a trip to the Grand Canyon rather than focusing on the difficult family situation.” The blue dolphin might be reframing a negative to a positive: “I’m choosing to look at this change in circumstances as an opportunity – not a setback.”
Allocate Worry Time: Rather than spending large chunks of time obsessing about a stressful situation, set aside a specific amount of time for worrying (e.g., 30 minutes before an upcoming appointment) rather than spending hours ruminating. Then move on to other activities until it’s “worry time.”
Problem-solving: Stop dwelling on the distress with no plan of action. Make a list of potential options you have. Get information. Assume control over what you can. Taking even a small step is empowering rather than feeling like a victim.
Mindfulness: Identify the distressing thought. Tell yourself, “It’s just a thought.” Let it float away like a cloud, a balloon, or a leaf floating downstream. Then find your blue dolphin. This takes practice but can be a very rewarding technique.
We can’t get through life without distress. But whatever there is to navigate, we must have our strategy toolbox handy. What’s in your toolbox…white bears or blue dolphins? Remember, it’s never too late to seek out the blue dolphins.