Past, Future, and Present
“Look back and get experience. Look forward and see hope. Look around and see reality. Look within and feel confident. ”
Image Credit @vjgalaxy
The Past: I’ve always been curious why folks enjoy posting pictures and sayings on Facebook from bygone years…you know, the “Remember when?” posts or “Who can identify what this kitchen utensil was used for 50 years ago?” I’ve never identified with those posts and wonder what the benefit is. Maybe dwelling on the past brings comfort in remembering it as a less stressful period and, therefore, much better than the present. But memories can sugar-coat past realities or overwhelm us with regrets or “shoulds,” like, “I should or shouldn’t have…” or, “Why did I….?” or, “If only…” and ultimately prevent us from fully being in the present moment.
There’s nothing wrong with reliving the past, but to what end? Seeing the past with rose-colored glasses or focusing only on regrets, mistakes, or failures is not helpful. If I look back and get experience, that is useful in the here and now. Asking questions like, “How did I get through that hard time? What could I have done differently? What have I learned?” can help integrate past experiences and provide a roadmap for moving forward.
The Future: I’m a long-range planner and love putting things on the calendar months ahead of time. In my work life, I loved planning and facilitating groups and classes, getting them scheduled a year in advance as that was necessary to ensure successful events. In my personal life, I love making plans for next year’s vacation. I love thinking about the future. For some, thinking about the future can evoke fear, dread, and uncertainty, like dreading upcoming test results, and worrying about finances or kids, even if they’re now adults.
My goal is to look forward and see hope. I know that not everything will happen as I’d like, but hope plays a vital role in my life. So, I hold on to hope and always have Plan B.
The Present: It’s hard to live in the present moment. The past intrudes, and the future is unknown. There are so many distractions – the pandemic, politics, finances, family dynamics, medical concerns; the list is endless. Yet, being in the present moment is needed to reduce stress and live a fulfilling, meaningful life. The book by Williams and Penman, Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World, is one of my favorites. It provides down-to-earth activities and teaches me how to live in the present moment.
Living in the present, I look around and see reality. I see the beauty of nature, hear the unbridled happiness of the birds and squirrels, and smell the approaching rain and aroma of the forest. In the present moment, I become less anxious, less stressed, and less exhausted. I can fully be present to hear and see my loved ones. I can look within and feel confident, or as a different version of the quote reads, look within and find yourself.
When recalling the past, I can become immobilized by nostalgia and guilt or be propelled into the future with wisdom. In looking to the future, I can fear the worst or plan and hope for the best. By being in the present moment, I can become distracted by technology and worries or seek out gratitude, joy, and meaning and, ultimately, find confidence and myself.