Finding My Way
“Perhaps too much of everything is as bad as too little.”
Image Credit @bladeoftree
The medical assistant took his blood pressure. “What was it?” I asked. “I don’t know,” he said. “They didn’t tell me.” My father was raised in an era when you didn’t ask questions; you did what the doctor said, no questions asked, like most people in his generation.
When facing medical challenges, I’ve discovered there are two types of people: 1. Those who want to read everything they can get their hands on, do extensive research on the internet, and feel they have a good grasp on the challenges ahead; 2. Those who want very little, if any, information and prefer to be told what to do and when – no questions asked.
I align with the first group. Give me the information straight up. Plus, I’ll read and research everything. The difficulty with this approach is one can quickly get scared to death. Too much information – especially from websites that aren’t reputable or from friends or family who have terrifying anecdotal accounts irrelevant to the situation – can send me in the wrong direction and leave me stressed.
When so much medical information is readily available, excessive online searches can add unnecessary worry. Searching for medical information online can also lead to “cyberchondria,” the new internet-age term for health anxiety or hypochondriasis. Searching the internet should be done in moderation and only on websites that are clinically sound such as the American Cancer Society (cancer.org), the National Cancer Institute (cancer.gov), Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center (mskcc.org), Mayo Clinic (mayoclinic.org), and MD Anderson Cancer Center (mdanderson.org), to name a few.
I suppose there’s something to be said for having too little information and doing what you’re told. No need to worry or deliberate over difficult decisions because someone else is calling all the shots. But too little information can also present difficulties. Not having some information can leave one unprepared for side effects or unable to utilize self-care measures to ensure the best outcome.
Acknowledging which type of coping strategy works best is the first step. In nearly every family unit, there is someone who wants all the information and others who wish to have no information, often resulting in disagreements and needless added tension. Finding a way through this can be challenging. Telling the family and the medical team what information is preferred allows them to understand what works best. Recognizing that another family member may have different needs facilitates communication and understanding.
The “too much or too little” conundrum isn’t limited to medical issues. The same challenges exist in many other areas: news consumption, food, solitude, etc. Too much news can leave one feeling sad and helpless; too little, uninformed, and out of touch. Too much food can leave one feeling bloated and overweight; too little, anorexic. Too much solitude can leave one feeling isolated and lonely; too little, unsettled, and peopled-out.
Finding my way means knowing which way of functioning works best, recognizing the pros and cons of too much and too little – how each makes me feel – and seeking the balance between the two.